It took me one and half months
to gather courage to confront to my parents about what I want to do. I was
pretending that I wanted to a job, but every time I felt guilty of pretending.
When they were doing so much for me, they deserve honesty from me. So, I first
told about it to my mother that I have been planning to do a business using my
research. She suggested me to do it part time. But to plant a new idea in
people’s mind is not an easy job. It requires dedicated and consistent efforts.
To achieve that, I can’t do it a part time business. According to my mother,
uncertainty was as issue, but she didn’t say it directly. At first, she could
see opportunities. I was able to present the facts which I prepared during that
one and half month. Though, she was showing support, I knew from her body
language that she hadn’t accepted my idea of risking.
The high command was my
father. Their approval and acceptance was more important. My mother told me to
ask father and then decide. As there has always been a fear of father’s
reaction due to his short tempered nature, I couldn’t gather courage to confront
him on the day I decided. Not even after three days after that day. I wasted
four days in procrastination due to my fear. But I had to do it one day;
otherwise regrets would have been more painful. It was Thursday. After having
dinner, my parents were watching TV in the hall. I was in bedroom holding the
book to help me present my view in front of them and walking back and forth. Mt
brother also thought that I’d gone crazy. He asked, ‘what was the matter with you?’
I ignored him. And I went straight in the hall.
I said that I want to discuss
about what I wanted to do with my life. Mother looked at me; but father was
looking at TV and said ‘hmm’. I started telling them what I want to do and how
I was going to do it. Still, father nodded looking at TV. Was that program so
important? I couldn’t understand why he was taking me for granted? Only one
reason. My mother had told him about it and he made up his mind about it. So he
closed his mind and don’t want to take inputs from me. Or at least listen to
what I had to say. The moment I came to know this, I closed my book and
realized it was going to be so difficult. How can we give something if someone
is not ready to accept? I barely said four lines and stopped noticing his
reaction.
When I stopped, he turned off
TV and then looked at me. He gave me every reason for next one hour about
practicality and why I should not pursue what I really wanted to do. To my
surprise, mother was also supporting him. They explained me every aspect of
practicality, from why money is so important to why people won’t pay me for
giving them advices, from you don’t have any degree to why idea is very
difficult to plant. Yes, they were right. But, I was talking about doing
something unique and it was going to take some time. My father gave me another
option. He suggested me to start any production line or workshop. He wasn’t
against doing a business, but against doing business of selling an idea.
Because, it is more difficult to sell an idea than to sell a product. But, I
wasn’t interested. I didn’t counter them at any point of time, because I knew
that they had closed their minds to my inputs. We had completely opposite set
of beliefs. In the end, I asked them for some time to think. I didn’t want to
go back to my engineering life. I asked for some time to think of different way
to convince them. They agreed.
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This post is also a part of Ultimate Blog Challenge and A to Z Challenge.
Today's letter is 'F'.
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